Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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