I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
