Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
