What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
