i was rollin on her like bob the builder
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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