it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize