I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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