ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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