I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize