One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
