"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
