I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
