Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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