I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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