Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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