Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
