Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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