Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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