Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
