nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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