I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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