so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize