i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
