brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
are you so shy because you have an std?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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