this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Thank you for not boning my boss.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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