You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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