have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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