U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
