Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
