Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
