the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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