I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
