pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My vagina is very pro this idea
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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