I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
