We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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