whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
