Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
