too bad you live with your parents still
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
