She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
