absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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