I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
