Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
