you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
