Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The feeling are messing with the penis
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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