At least make sure they are 18
Why
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
