She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you didnt know i had herpes?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
