Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
