dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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