You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
