We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
