I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
