talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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