Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
