he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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