Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
