onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
