I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
