no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sorry about my life...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
