i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
