a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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