Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize