last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it glows. i had to have it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How does one acquire holy water?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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