You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
